Chuckanut Brewery - Second chance review

Chuckanut Brewery, take 2.
Went there for happy hour, thank god I didn't pay full price... Their beer still sucks.

Bonus points if you can guess what beer that is in the picture.

Lager? - No

Pale Ale? - No

IPA? - No

Ok that's three guesses, I'll tell you what it is. It's their amber. Yes I said amber, as in amber ale.

It tastes as watery as it looks. It doesn't smell like much, the head was very thin and dissipated quickly. My buddy described it as paying a premium for draft Budweiser.

I tried - I wanted to like your beer, I really did. I really liked Snoqualmie Falls Brewery when I visited and I made a point to hit your booth at every beer event and to try as many offerings of yours as I could before I passed judgment. But I've been disappointed every time. I wish your brewery well, I think it has a lot of potential, but I'll be drinking elsewhere from now on.

Chuckanut Brewery Sampler

Chuckanut brewery, their sampler... First off I want to say they have excellent salsa and were very friendly, their beer however...

Problem # 1: the sampler does not include all their beers, it cost me an extra $4 to try all 6 of their offerings.
Problem # 2: all of their beers suck. No really, they suck. They suck a lot. No joke. I expected a lot more from the Kemper's... Teh (yes Teh not The) Fail.

Their beers:
-None had much of a smell, none had any real body or any sort of head.

Rauch - Tastes like smoked salmon that has been marinated in root beer. Yuck.

Kolsch - Fantastic, you cloned Heniken, I hate heineken. I can't stand heineken...

IPA - Tastes like sour PBR with a horrible resiny finish. The Sierra Nevada pale ale i'm drinking to get rid of the taste of the Chuckanut beers has more hop flavor.

Vienna - Did I accidentally grab my water glass? You call this beer? Seriously, tastes like bottled water.

ESB - This was the best of their beers, but thats not saying much. Tastes more like a lager than an ESB. Brew Munkey MAD lager has more beer taste than this abortion of an ESB.

Stout - WTF. I can see through it. The porter I had at Birdsview on Friday was a million times darker and thicker. This looks like an amber, not a stout. It tastes like alskan amber and fat tire's bastard love child. I think this one disappoints me the most.

I can't remember the last time I didn't like any of a brewery's beers. I really hope you guys get things together and start making some beer that would make the northwest proud, and do it soon please!

Due to the unusual level of suckage this brewery has achieved I feel a second chance attempt is needed. Expect a second chance review in 6-8 months.

Chuckanut Brewery Tasting

They had 6 beers brewed so far. Being that they just opened that's acceptable.

Kolsch - Sweet, bavariann taste, good body for a german beer. Extremely lightly hopped. Tastes like PBR but sweeter.

Rauch - Smells smokey, tastes smokey. Smoked salmon beer? Once again, this is a lager. Sweet, not good. Too much smoked flavor, it overpowers all other flavors.

Golden Ale - Sweet after taste, medium to light hop, light body but more presence than the Kolsch, very "fizzy".

IPA - NO SMELL! Shouldn't an IPA smell like hops? Too sweet for an IPA. It doesn't taste like an IPA at all. That is all there is to say about that. Boundary's IPA is better and we all know how I feel about that one...

Brown Ale - Tastes like nothing. I know what browns taste like, I don't like browns, but this doesn't taste like a brown. Its not nutty at all. Barely any flavor.

Stout - You can see through it, bad sign. Smells like nothing, shocking. No body, especially for a stout. Slight smokey flavor. Smokey coffee aftertaste? Better than the rest, but just not a good stout.

Nachos and yam fries were delicious. Not coming back for beer again.