Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Raven Mad Imperial Porter

Bridgeport Raven Mad Imperial Porter

I would have walked right by this one if it didn't have 3D glasses. Yep, 3D glasses. Looking at the bottle the raven pops out and looks like it's attacking the dude's eyes. Scary stuff. But the beer, not so scary.

Pours strong with a thick head. Smells meh. First taste is sweet, followed by a smooth roasty beer taste. Ok, 3D glasses and it tastes good, I'm happy. The rest of the beer was uneventful, but in a good way - I was able to just kick back and enjoy a good porter, doesn't get much better than that, unless it can be viewed with 3D glasses. Surprisingly, not many things look different in 3D...

Side note: dogs do not seem to like wearing 3D glasses.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Carlton and United Beverages: Sheaf Stout

I had my doubts going in but this is a good beer. Imported from Tansmania Australia, this black bodied stout has a deep chocolaty flavor, white head, light carbonation, and a nice light mouthfeel. It poured very black and blocked the light entirely from my LED flashlight
and a LASER POINTER! This was a little misleading since it had a lighter body than say Deschutes Obsidian Stout. I was unsure as to whom made it cause the name on the bottle sounds more like a distributing company than a brewery. I'm going to read up on the Australian brewing practices and maybe post later. It was under $4 for a 23oz bottle and it was worth it. Also worthy of note was its impressive Stout Hole Test (it passed easily).

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Delirium Tremens

Delirium Tremens

Had this on tap at the Copper Hog. Citrusy and a little sour, but in a good way. Seemed a little flat for a typical Belgian beer. Light body, not as smooth as I was expecting. Overall I'd describe the beer as being restrained and balanced. It was tasty, but this time of year I really prefer stouts. I think I might have to revisit this one in the spring.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Lagunitas: IPA

This IPA is a good one. Very clear body, light mouthfeel, flowery hop flavor. It's a little sweet but very subdued compared to some IPA's. Lagunita's traditionally has great IPA's and have never lacked in the hop arena. I would have liked it to be a little thicker but that's why lagunita's have other beers!

Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout

Results of the "Stout Hole" test below

Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout

First thing I noticed is that I can see through it. Hmmmm I think Munkey 1 and I are going to introduce a new stout test. I call it the "Stout Hole." You know, like black hole, but with stout instead of black... come on, I'm trying to be witty....

Moving on

I remember this beer being better. It tastes like a sweet reheated cup of coffee. Its got a little funk on the end of the pallet that I don't remember it having, I'm a little disappointed. Smells ok, kinda like my coffee grinder. Its pretty thick, definatly has a presence on the tounge. I'm going to have to try it again later in the season, I could have sworn I really liked this one last time I tried it.

Deschutes: Obsidian Stout

Stouts are great. This one pours very dark, tan head, big body. Heavy black and chocolate malt flavors cling heavily to the mouth. Sweet like a good stout should be, this deep malty goodness rises up from a deep porter feel to complete the package. Good beer over all, leans a little towards the porter side, but shouldn't all beers?

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Pyramid: Snow Cap

MMM snow cap. One of my favorite winter warmers. Solid pour, great head (I just kinda like saying that to get my girlfriends attention...) and a portery stoutish sweet malty smell. Nice and thick, but not too thick. Alcohol is just present enough to let you know its there. This one is smooth and malty without the weird sweetness the wassail had. I guess I like how balanced this one tastes.

And its a bargin! Under $3! Go try it!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Michelob: Amber Bock

I don't know about anybody else, but 5 years ago I thought this was the best stuff in the world. Fortunately, we all grow up.

This beer isn't terrible for Michelob, it has a light body for an amber, darker medium brown body, white light head, and a hint of magnum. It's a little sweeter than I like but has a fair bit of malty presence. It leaves that sweet malty taste on the palet similar to some of the traditional lagers. Almost as if you take PBR and add some amber qualities with a smokey taste just a smidge.

Overall it's not a bad beer. Bring it to your lager drinking buddies and see what they think. It is a great gateway beer! If they can drink this as opposed to lagers then there might be a chance.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Full Sail - Wassail

Full Sail - Wassail

The winter seasonal's are arriving!

Dark amber, almost porter looking. Nice head, nothing pronounced in the aroma, but it smells tasty. Wassail starts out tasting pretty malty, then there’s some weird sweet taste I can’t place, followed by a smooth bitterish finish. Silky body, can’t think of another beer like it. Makes me wonder what they did… Malt takes up more of a presence later in the glass, almost starts to taste nutty. Not bad, I think I’m going to stick a few in the cellar. Mmmm aged Wassail, that brings back some memories…

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I can haz crowbar

To the idiots that break into cars…

According to Ebay, the stereo you attempted to steal from my car in good, used condition goes for under $20. In stolen and broken condition I imagine it would be worth less than $1. I’d like to recommend that you at least attempt to make stealing a car stereo worthwhile. I really hate feeling like I got taken advantage of for nothing. Makes me feel cheap. Here’s an idea, why don’t you set yourself a minimum profit margin you’d like to make on each stereo? Maybe target only stereo’s that are worth more than a few hours work paid at minimum wage?

Ok, look at it this way: How long did you spend trying to crowbar my stereo out of my car’s dashboard? Looking at the amount of damage, we’ll say ten minutes. For all that work you probably got $1.50 to $2.00 worth of change out of my ash tray. You didn’t even manage to get the stereo you came for! You might want to consider a different line of work...

10 min = $2.00 Not too bad, at this rate you’re making $12.00/hour. Still a pretty terrible wage considering all your job hazards. And I’m sure crowbar insurance isn’t cheap.

Now, how long did you spend running from the police? How about hiding before you were able to “work” again? You don’t seem very intelligent, maybe one to two hours before attempting to steal again?

120 min = $2.00 Oh. Well. Now not so good, you’re down to $1.00/hour. To put that in perspective: Minimum wage = $8.07/hour. Peeing while on the clock = ~8 minutes, you just made $1.07 taking a wiz! And, as an added bonus, the police don’t have your finger prints and are not actively looking for you!

Bottom line - your deficiency in economics is going to cost me $500 out of my pocket and might raise my insurance rates. All because you wanted a $20.00 car stereo. WTF. I would have given you $100 and then called the cops if you would have agreed not to unleash the wrath of the crowbar on my car. That’s 500% more than you came for and a fair sporting chance at getting away from the police!

Ok, now that we’ve covered economics, let’s touch on technique. Well, more correctly lack of technique. It looks to me like you only brought one tool with you, a crowbar. To be successful you’re going to need a few more tools. Don’t worry, you can probably steal them from your girlfriend. As I see it, a bare bones car audio theft kit should include: 1 clothes hanger, 1 flat head screwdriver and 1Philips screwdriver. Now, never actually having stolen a car stereo I’m only guessing, but, it seems to me that a good car stereo thief would get into and out quickly without damaging the item he’s trying to steal.

Let’s walk through your approach.
Use crowbar on door, try to pry door open. Door won’t open, pry harder. Swear, pry some more. Take off gloves, try to pry window away from door frame, fail. Get crowbar, pry window back, insert fingers (leave finger prints), swear. Pick up crowbar, pry window back, wedge crowbar into window gap, grab window and pull. Unlock door (just breaking the damn window with your crowbar would have been easier for both of us). Put gloves on passenger seat, get crowbar. Rummage around vehicle. Use crowbar to ax away the portion of the dash above radio. Loop crowbar through cup holder pull on crowbar like you’re starting a lawn mower. Attempt to remove radio from dash with crowbar. Wedge crowbar between faceplate and radio. Rarrrr! Crowbar pwn’s radio! - Break faceplate off radio. Use bare hands to rip remaining dash parts away from top of radio. Attempt to remove radio with crowbar like you’re digging for clams. Damage remaining portion of radio. Crowbar gear selector away from dash. Remove ash tray with crowbar, send change flying all over car. Have A.D.D. moment, pick up as much change as you can. Remember that you came for the radio, pick up crowbar. Remove offending section of the dash below radio with crowbar, turn on windshield wipers. Jamb crowbar between side of radio and dash, pry. Swear. Pry harder. Swear more. Try prying radio out from the bottom. Swear, kick dash, kick crowbar. Hear your buddy make a birdcall, grab crow bar, run. Buddy makes fun of you for not being able to steal a car stereo.

Now let’s run down the scenario using the tool kit we talked about earlier.
Slide coat hanger between door and window, unlock door. Pry up edge of center consol trim with screwdriver, gently tug trim piece free from center consol. Use screwdriver to remove screws holding radio to dash. Gently pull stereo free from dash, unclip wiring harness, quietly walk away from vehicle. Buddy is impressed how quickly you stole stereo that is still functional.

Next time you’re in the area, stop by. Just go ahead and start crowbar-ing things, that way I’ll know you’ve dropped by. And if you can convince me that I shouldn’t hit you in the head or groin with my demo-bar (it’s a huge crowbar, you’ll be jealous when you see it), we can do a comparison of techniques and see who gets the stereo out first. Winner gets to keep the losers crowbar and gets a free 5 minute crowbar rampage. I hope for your sake you can run faster than me and my crowbarz.